Healing & Self-Love Rituals

Let's get one thing straight: self-love isn't bubble baths and face masks (though those are nice). Real self-love is setting boundaries even when it's uncomfortable. It's choosing yourself even when it disappoints others. It's refusing to settle for crumbs when you deserve the whole meal. Self-love is also not constant. Some days you'll feel confident and worthy. Other days you'll spiral and question everything. That's normal. Self-love is a practice, not a destination. You don't "achieve" it and then coast—you choose it over and over, especially when it's hard. The thing is, you can't attract healthy love if you don't love yourself first. Not because of some woo-woo "law of attraction" stuff—but because if you don't value yourself, you'll accept treatment that reflects that lack of value. You'll tolerate breadcrumbs. You'll stay in situations that drain you. You'll abandon your own needs to keep someone else comfortable. Self-love is the foundation. Everything else builds on top of it. If the foundation is shaky, the whole relationship crumbles. So before you go looking for your person, become your own person. Learn to be whole on your own. Then partnership becomes a choice, not a need.

Mirror work is simple but powerful: you stand in front of a mirror, look yourself in the eyes, and speak to yourself with love and truth. It sounds easy. It's not. Most people can't hold their own gaze for more than a few seconds without feeling uncomfortable. **Why mirror work is hard:** You're used to seeing yourself through the lens of criticism. You focus on flaws. You avoid eye contact with yourself because somewhere along the way, you learned that you weren't enough. Mirror work forces you to confront that—and to rewrite it. **How to do mirror work:** 1. Stand in front of a mirror (bathroom mirror is fine) 2. Look yourself in the eyes—really look 3. Say your name out loud: "[Your name], I see you" 4. Notice what comes up (emotions, resistance, discomfort) 5. Speak affirmations or truths to yourself **What to say during mirror work:** — "I love you" — "I'm proud of you" — "You're doing your best" — "You are enough exactly as you are" — "I forgive you" — "I'm here for you" **What will happen:** The first time you do this, you might cry. You might feel ridiculous. You might not believe the words. That's okay. Keep going. Say it until you start to believe it. Say it until your nervous system registers safety instead of criticism. **How often:** Daily, even if it's just 30 seconds. Morning or night, whenever feels right. The consistency matters more than the duration. Mirror work rewires your relationship with yourself. It teaches you to be your own safe person, your own hype person, your own source of love—instead of constantly seeking it externally.

The full moon is for release, letting go, and completion. Use this ritual after a breakup, after a betrayal, or when you need to energetically cut cords with someone who no longer serves you. **What you'll need:** — A quiet space where you won't be interrupted — Paper and pen — A fireproof bowl or container — A candle (white or black for release) — Optional: rose quartz, black tourmaline, or selenite **The ritual:** **1. Set the space.** Light your candle. If you're using crystals, place them around you. Take a few deep breaths. Ground yourself. This is sacred time for you. **2. Write a letter.** Write everything you need to say to the person you're releasing. Don't hold back. Get angry. Get sad. Be honest. This letter is for you, not them—you won't send it. Examples of what to write: — "I release you and the future I imagined with you" — "I forgive you for [specific hurt], and I forgive myself for [staying/ignoring red flags/etc.]" — "I take my power back from you" — "I am no longer available for this dynamic" **3. Read it out loud.** Speak it into existence. Let yourself feel the emotions. Cry if you need to. Scream if you need to. Your body needs to release this energetically, not just mentally. **4. Burn it.** Safely burn the letter in your fireproof bowl. As it burns, visualize the energetic cords between you and this person dissolving. Imagine yourself free, whole, and no longer tethered to them. **5. Close the ritual.** Thank yourself for doing this work. Thank the moon for holding space. Blow out the candle. Dispose of the ashes (you can bury them, throw them in running water, or just toss them in the trash—whatever feels right). **6. Ground yourself.** Drink water. Eat something. Take a shower. Do something that brings you back into your body and the present moment. **What happens after:** You might feel lighter immediately. Or you might feel worse before you feel better (releasing big emotions can be draining). Either way, trust the process. You just did deep energetic work. Give yourself time to integrate it.

The new moon is for beginnings, planting seeds, and calling in what you want. Use this ritual to set intentions around self-love, worthiness, and the relationship you want to build with yourself. **What you'll need:** — A quiet space — Paper and pen — A candle (pink for love, white for new beginnings) — Optional: rose quartz, citrine, or clear quartz **The ritual:** **1. Get clear on what you want.** This isn't about what you want in a partner—it's about how you want to feel about yourself. Examples: — "I want to feel worthy of love without needing to earn it" — "I want to trust myself and my intuition" — "I want to set boundaries without guilt" — "I want to prioritize my needs without feeling selfish" **2. Write your intentions.** Use present tense, as if it's already true. Not "I will" but "I am." — "I am worthy of love exactly as I am" — "I trust my intuition and honor my truth" — "I set boundaries with ease and compassion" — "I prioritize my needs and my peace" **3. Speak them out loud.** Say each intention three times. Let your nervous system hear it. Let it start to believe it. **4. Take one action.** Intentions without action are just wishes. What's ONE thing you can do this week that aligns with your intention? — If your intention is boundaries, practice saying "no" to something small — If it's self-trust, make a decision without asking for everyone's opinion first — If it's worthiness, do something kind for yourself that you'd usually skip **5. Close the ritual.** Thank yourself. Blow out the candle. Keep the paper somewhere you'll see it (on your mirror, in your journal, on your phone as a note). Revisit it weekly to track your progress. **What happens after:** The universe will test you. Opportunities to set boundaries will show up. Situations that challenge your self-worth will arise. This isn't punishment—it's the universe giving you chances to practice your new intentions. Don't back down. Keep choosing yourself.

Energetic cords connect you to people you've been in relationship with—romantic, familial, platonic, whatever. Some cords are healthy (mutual love and support). Some are draining (resentment, codependency, unhealed trauma). Cord-cutting isn't about hating someone or wishing them harm. It's about reclaiming your energy and releasing the unhealthy attachment. **When to do a cord-cutting:** — After a breakup or betrayal — When you can't stop thinking about someone obsessively — When you feel drained, anxious, or heavy around/after interacting with someone — When you're ready to move on but feel stuck **How to do a cord-cutting visualization:** **1. Get comfortable.** Sit or lie down in a quiet space. Close your eyes. Take deep breaths until you feel calm and centered. **2. Visualize the person.** See them standing in front of you. Don't judge yourself for whatever emotions come up—just notice them. **3. Notice the cords.** Visualize energetic cords connecting you to them. They might look like ropes, threads, chains, or vines. Notice where they connect to your body (heart, stomach, throat, etc.). Notice the color, texture, thickness. **4. State your intention.** Say (out loud or in your mind): "I release you with love. I reclaim my energy. I am free." **5. Cut the cords.** Visualize yourself cutting the cords with scissors, a sword, or light. See them dissolve, burn away, or simply fall away. Some people like to imagine Archangel Michael doing the cutting if that resonates. **6. Seal your energy.** Visualize a protective light (white, gold, or pink) surrounding you and sealing the places where the cords were attached. You are whole, protected, and complete on your own. **7. Send them away.** Visualize the person walking away, fading, or being surrounded by their own light. You don't need to wish them harm—just release them from your energy field. **8. Ground yourself.** Open your eyes. Drink water. Touch something physical (the floor, a crystal, your own body). Come back to the present moment. **What happens after:** You might feel immediate relief. Or you might need to do this multiple times (especially if the attachment is deep or long-standing). That's okay. Cord-cutting is a practice, not a one-time fix. Repeat as needed.

Self-love isn't just rituals and ceremonies. It's the small, daily choices that add up over time. Here's what actually makes a difference: **1. Set one boundary a day.** Doesn't have to be big. Say no to plans you don't want to go to. Don't respond to texts immediately. Ask for what you need. Practice small acts of self-advocacy daily. **2. Stop apologizing for existing.** Notice how often you say "sorry" for things that don't require an apology. "Sorry, can I ask a question?" No. Just ask. "Sorry for bothering you." No. You're not a burden. **3. Unfollow people who make you feel bad.** Your feed should inspire, educate, or entertain you—not trigger comparison, inadequacy, or resentment. Curate your digital space like you'd curate your home. **4. Speak to yourself like you'd speak to a friend.** When you mess up, would you call your friend stupid, ugly, or worthless? No. So stop doing it to yourself. Practice self-compassion. **5. Prioritize rest without guilt.** Rest is not laziness. It's a biological need. You don't have to earn it by being productive. You're allowed to rest just because you're tired. **6. Move your body in ways that feel good.** Exercise shouldn't be punishment for eating. Move because it feels good—dancing, walking, yoga, whatever. Your body is not a problem to fix. **7. Eat food you actually enjoy.** Diet culture is a scam. Eat what makes you feel good physically and emotionally. You don't need to "earn" dessert or "make up for" a meal. Food is not moral. **8. Celebrate small wins.** You got out of bed today? That's worth celebrating if you've been depressed. You set a boundary? That's huge. Acknowledge your progress, no matter how small. **9. Invest in yourself.** Take the class. Buy the book. Go to therapy. Get the massage. You're worth the time, money, and effort. **10. Let yourself be a work in progress.** You don't have to have it all figured out. You're allowed to be messy, imperfect, and still learning. Growth isn't linear. Be patient with yourself. Self-love isn't about perfection. It's about showing up for yourself even when it's hard. Especially when it's hard.